Tag Archives: learn

5 things I would tell my 21 year old self

18 Nov

If I could somehow tell my 21 year old self, I would totally tell them these below to guide myself in the right direction. 

Let’s be honest here, I was an idiot and focused on many things that were so foolish!

  1. Grow in my relationship with God.  I feel with this most of these on the list would have followed naturally.
  2. Be humble – focus less on myself and focus more on others
  3. Focus more on building friendships that last, and not materialistic items or boyfriends for that matter.  I realize now how important it is to have a good network of good people in your life.
  4. Branch out and learned more.  I just focused on school and the extracurricular activities that went along with school.  I needed to learn more “real world” things as that would have been more beneficial to me now.
  5. Stop comparing myself to others.  I always compared myself to others, and I could only see their highlight reel for their life.  I needed to realize no one is that perfect and no one is always happy.

I know that these are just wisdom that I have gained over the few years, and I am glad that I have seen the changes and maturity over the years.  It is just weird to look at life in a different light and what mattered to me so much before, they don’t matter so much anymore.  There are other things that are more important than the worldly items this world tempts one with.


Foundation for Marriage

13 Nov

So I am engaged and right now my fiance and I are going through premarital counseling.  Yesterday was the first session with our marriage mentors.  We have an aggressive schedule to complete premarital counseling, so I thought it would be a good idea to document what I take away from the sessions and what I have learned.

Yesterday’s session was very general and good.  Our marriage mentors are also our home group leaders, which helps since they know our testimony and how we are, so it lessens that initial awkward stage.

  1. Our background and family life – Where we come from can shape our outlook on life and marriage.  The more we talked, the more we all realized how many broken marriages there are and how many marriages aren’t really a marriage at all.  The focus that was once there dwindles with time and it is until the two are divorced or are essentially putting up with one another.  This is something my fiance and I don’t want, and this is why premarital counseling is a sweet time to see and talk about these early on to set that foundation.
  2. Priorities – Making sure we have our priorities correct – God, husband/wife, children in that order.  We reflected on our parents and saw how the focus of work or children will tend to consume the person so they lose focus on what is important.  We talked about how the typical working husband today provides and puts dinner on the table, but doesn’t provide in other ways that are important such as: spiritual leadership, continually focus and love his wife, etc.  These are the things that will hold together a marriage and they are the ones that are easily forgotten about.
  3. Direction – Making sure that we are going in the same direction in the future; otherwise, we won’t be able to avoid big conflicts.  This was one that my fiance and I easily agreed on, since we want the same goals in life, but it was stressed to figure this out before getting married.
  4. Marriage is a mirror image of the God and church – It is so simple: marriage is a symbol of God and his church, and yet, it is so complex.  To me I took away this:  Be selfless, always give, and please my future husband in the most Godly way I can.  This is so simple, but so hard.  We are made to be selfish and sinful, and I continually have to compromise what I want to ensure that I am being selfless.  Of course, it is said that the husband does the same – to be selfless and giving.
  5. Focus on God – This is so important, since there is so much going on with life all the time that it is so easy to leave Him to the wayside and make him the last priority.  This is a constant struggle for most.  This is why my fiance and I need to keep one another accountable to make sure we focus on Him.  When you focus on Him, he will give you the desires of your heart.

This was a good first session as it laid the foundation to what a successful Christian marriage is all about before we dive into the smaller, but still important topics.