Tag Archives: Christian

Understanding Marriage

27 Nov

Third session of premarital counseling!  We are flying through this, but learning so much at the same time!

This session was another setting the foundation for marriage.  Most people misunderstand what marriage is for; most people speak of marriage as if it is a pair of old jeans.  They speak of marriage as something that you put on and take off as you need, and if it doesn’t fit, you just throw them away – just like a pair of old jeans.  Marriage, I have realized, doesn’t belong to us.  Marriage is a possession of God as a priceless creation.  He invented marriage and gave it to us as a gift from Him.  This point spoke to me, as I know many friend’s parents don’t treat marriage as a gift and it is highly misused.  My parents surely didn’t and it is more evident to me know how broken the idea of marriage was to them.

A few take-aways for me from this session were:

  1. Marriage was God’s invention as he felt it wasn’t good for man to be alone (Genesis 1:26) and there was not a suitable helper.  The reason He felt man wasn’t good to be alone was that man would only focus on himself, and God wanted a helper to display the image of God.  The problem wasn’t that Adam was lonely, it was the need of a helper to steward the glory of God.
  2. Separation from parents to become one flesh with future spouse.  This is learning to depend on the Lord and not depend on parents.  This means the marriage is more sacred and more vital than any other relationship.  The marriage in Christ comes first before any other relationships, even earthly parents.
  3. Marriage is a visible symbol of Christ and the Church.  This provides a visual of God’s redeeming love.  Marriage displays His glory, and the glory of Christ and the Church.
  4. The use of marriage is to populate the earth; however, spiritual rebirth has a greater emphasis than physical rebirth.  A Christ-centered marriage provides the foundation of teaching the next generation of God and His grace in our lives.  The use of marriage is a wonderful example of God’s love and truth.
  5. Marriage was also designed for pure enjoyment.  We are suppose to be delighted in our husband or wife through the foundation of service.

These are all such great points to take-away and really use this to set a strong foundation in our marriage.  I can tell it will be so easy to forget if I don’t continually check myself on these and to remind me that marriage is a gift.

Foundation for Marriage

13 Nov

So I am engaged and right now my fiance and I are going through premarital counseling.  Yesterday was the first session with our marriage mentors.  We have an aggressive schedule to complete premarital counseling, so I thought it would be a good idea to document what I take away from the sessions and what I have learned.

Yesterday’s session was very general and good.  Our marriage mentors are also our home group leaders, which helps since they know our testimony and how we are, so it lessens that initial awkward stage.

  1. Our background and family life – Where we come from can shape our outlook on life and marriage.  The more we talked, the more we all realized how many broken marriages there are and how many marriages aren’t really a marriage at all.  The focus that was once there dwindles with time and it is until the two are divorced or are essentially putting up with one another.  This is something my fiance and I don’t want, and this is why premarital counseling is a sweet time to see and talk about these early on to set that foundation.
  2. Priorities – Making sure we have our priorities correct – God, husband/wife, children in that order.  We reflected on our parents and saw how the focus of work or children will tend to consume the person so they lose focus on what is important.  We talked about how the typical working husband today provides and puts dinner on the table, but doesn’t provide in other ways that are important such as: spiritual leadership, continually focus and love his wife, etc.  These are the things that will hold together a marriage and they are the ones that are easily forgotten about.
  3. Direction – Making sure that we are going in the same direction in the future; otherwise, we won’t be able to avoid big conflicts.  This was one that my fiance and I easily agreed on, since we want the same goals in life, but it was stressed to figure this out before getting married.
  4. Marriage is a mirror image of the God and church – It is so simple: marriage is a symbol of God and his church, and yet, it is so complex.  To me I took away this:  Be selfless, always give, and please my future husband in the most Godly way I can.  This is so simple, but so hard.  We are made to be selfish and sinful, and I continually have to compromise what I want to ensure that I am being selfless.  Of course, it is said that the husband does the same – to be selfless and giving.
  5. Focus on God – This is so important, since there is so much going on with life all the time that it is so easy to leave Him to the wayside and make him the last priority.  This is a constant struggle for most.  This is why my fiance and I need to keep one another accountable to make sure we focus on Him.  When you focus on Him, he will give you the desires of your heart.

This was a good first session as it laid the foundation to what a successful Christian marriage is all about before we dive into the smaller, but still important topics.